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W hile 50 Shades of Grey has brought BDSM into the mainstream, many couples regularly practice the lifestyle, which refers to sex practices including domination, bondage and sadomasochism.

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But is it healthy to add a little spanking and submission into your sex life? Jones said.

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They have the same concerns. But I also help vanilla couples introduce BDSM into their relationships, sometimes, in a bid to save their unions.

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I recently had a couple come in recently and the wife was in tears. They had been married for about ten years. So I met with them individually and found that their relationship was a total power struggle. He was totally dominating her in the relationship.

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And it totally saved their marriage. I often prescribe BDSM for power struggles or control issues. Or, if one partner had a bad sexual experience in the past, I prescribe it as a way to give that partner back some feeling of control.

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I would check those out and do some research. I also frequently refer my clients to doms, and let the doms show them the safe way to play. You can have a session with a dom, who will demonstrate the ropes and different types of exercises you can do in the bedroom. People think it equals pain.

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But, in reality, BDSM covers everything from playful role-playing to spanking to tying up your partner and teasing them with a feather. You can always just dip your toe in — and that will still add a level of erotic energy to sex play with your partner. BDSM play is always consensual.

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No questions asked. They also are supposed to talk beforehand. Or if you feel comfortable enough, I would just talk to your partner — and recommend starting out small. I think sex therapists are incredibly helpful.

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They can really help you get off to a good start. Some of my more mature couples initially giggle when I give them BDSM exercises to do, but when they report back to me, they love the experience.

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They say they felt like they were in high school again. You and your partner can totally transform your relationship. Write to Samantha Cooney at samantha. By Samantha Cooney.

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How bdsm can help save your relationship

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