I know I can't be the only one who's ever had to deal with a partner who's boring in bed. Sex should be fun! But when one partner is all about switching things up while the other likes to stick with the same routine, someone's going to be left feeling unsatisfied. I'm the type of person who really enjoys being adventurous in the bedroom.
From exploring fantasies to testing out new toys, I'm all about trying things at least once. Because of that, I'm always hoping my partner is just as open to anything sexually as I am.
So it was pretty disappointing to me bored I started dating a guy who I really liked, was super sweet, but lazy AF when it came to sex. I hate saying he was bad in bedbut it became the same exact routine every single time. So what's the best way to deal with a partner who's boring in bed? Emily Morse, host of the top downloaded sex and relationship advice podcast Sex with Emilytells Bustle. So here are some things you can do if you feel like your partner is a bore in the bedroom:.
Before you start playing the blame game, Morse says sexlife important to take a look at yourself first. Are you bored because you're not orgasming with Or is it because Married have a fantasy that has yet to be fulfilled? Once you've and out what you really want, then you'll be able to communicate that to your partner.
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How this works is, couples anonymously complete a questionnaire on their sexual interests individually and afterwards, they're sent a list of things that both partners showed interest in. It could be anything from role play to bondage to adding in other people. Then go from there," Newton says. Kat Van Kirkd marriage and family therapist and resident sex expert at Adam and Evetells Bustle. Don't just think of a boring sex life as something you need to fix individually. It can't just be your problem or your partner's. It needs to be the both of you.
If your partner isn't taking the lead on making things more fun, do it yourself!
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As Van Kirk suggests, you can even make a game out of it by seeing who can surprise each other the most. If you're in need of a couple ideas, making a surprise shower visit or initiating a make out session in the car are great places to start.
Invest in some toys to help. Either surprise your partner with a couple of toys that appeal to you or shop together online. Some of Van Kirk's suggested products include massage candles and a clitoral vibrator.
Jennifer Rhodes, d psychologist, relationship expert, and the founder of the bi-costal consultancy, Rapport Relationshipstells Bustle. Rather than focusing on sex, Rhodes tell clients to focus on sensuality. You can do that by going dancing so you can work on your connection to each other.
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You can buy new candles and essential oils to set the mood. You can even give each other a massage to help decrease anxiety and open communication to how each person likes to be touched. Even if you know you like to keep things simple in bed, nobody wants to hear that they're boring or vanilla or anything but the greatest thing ever.
Being with a partner who's boring in bed can be a huge problem if it goes undiscussed. I always recommend for couples to keep it spicy is to keep communication in the forefront of their minds and in their bedrooms.
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Be fearless and open with what you really want in the bedroom and always reward your partner for a job well done, Hope says. You might not get the response you're looking for or you might get an unexpected earful now that the door has been open. Remember to keep it light and be willing to take baby steps before expecting to set up the sex swing.
Remember that everyone's definition of "boring" is different. That's why knowing yourself and being able to communicate that is important.
In turn, your partner might become more comfortable sharing what they like. You never know — opening up about what you want in bed may just be exactly what your sex life needs. By Kristine Fellizar. So here are some things you can do if you feel like your partner is a bore in the bedroom: 1 First, Take A Look At Yourself.